 | Fear of resistance often provoking greater
violence. Fear of children being hurt or loosing custody. Fear of lack of
protection from the legal process. Leaving can be the
most dangerous time. Statistics reflect a rate of 75 times more likely of being
attacked during this period.
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| Emotional Dependency: Feelings
of insecurity over potential independence, lack of emotional support, and major life
changes. Statistics reflect about 15% stay because they still love the abuser,
and a few stay because of the social stigma of divorce.
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| Financial Dependency: Many times the abuser is the sole wage earner in the family. If he is
arrested, he may loose his job and not be able to pay child support. Because of lack
of education or job skills, the victim fears that she will not be able to support her
family on her own.
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| Guilt: Abused
victims often feel guilty because they think they provoked the abuse, and guilt over the
failure of their marriage. Family, Cultural, and religious beliefs may also pile on
guilt.
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| Isolation: Very
often, victims have few friends, little support from relatives, little money, no car, and
even no phone.
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| Embarrassment and Shame: Most victims feel degraded, and worthless as well as ashamed about remaining in
an abusive relationship.
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| Children: The victim
might believe that children need both a mother and a father in their home. They
believe that a better life financially is more important than leaving. They fear
that the children will be emotionally damaged.
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| Hope: They hope
that if they change into the person the abuser wants them to be, or if the abuser keeps
his promise, and stops, then everything will work out.
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| Complications in a Rural Community: Rural families are not used to asking for assistance, especially for family
problems. Some rural communities have not accepted the presence of domestic violence
or incest. Rural communities sometimes offer fewer resources, and victims may be reluctant
to call the police.
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Home Page -- Program Services -- Domestic
Violence Resources
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